I know how it feels when you’re living a life you don’t want.

I spent 2-3 years curating a very specific life and lifestyle for myself. There was a lot of work and time and effort that went into creating it. I had a partner, an amazing home, exactly how I intended it to manifest. Down to a T, almost everything in that current life was exactly how I had envisioned it a few years earlier.

Out of nowhere, I was suddenly hit with the desire for more. I looked around and thought, “This life is not what I want. What have I done?”

The fear and regret I felt was overwhelming. I had just spent so much time, and included another person (my boyfriend) in the whole thing. There was so much invested in this life I had created. I was paralyzed with the idea that I had created so powerfully a life that I no longer wanted.

Was it possible I created the wrong thing?

No.

I created the life I wanted, when I wanted it. It just turned out, when I got the life, I wanted more.

It’s a part of human nature to always want more. It’s different though when you experience it first hand, and other people and things are affected by it.

It’s ok to continue to grow and want more.

What had happened was, when I created this life in my mind 3 years earlier, that life was so big, it felt like a huge step to grow into. I couldn’t have imagined myself with a long term boyfriend or a property of our own together. I spent 3 years in the Enchanted Life U learning how to be the person who is comfortable with that big life.

Would you guess it? I became a person who was worthy of even more than that life. It was almost like I had built a beautiful sanctuary for myself, and had to grow into it. After a time of living in it, I outgrew it.

I realized I no longer wanted the life I had created and I was petrified.

Even though I knew how to grow and expand, I no longer had a clear vision for where my life was going. 3 years prior, I had a destination set in my GPS. Now that I’ve arrived at my destination, I didn’t have another one to put into the GPS, but I knew I had to start driving. So I trusted my very strong instincts to start the next leg of my journey, and I left my partner of 4 years.

If you are at a similar juncture in your life, it is so scary. Knowing you built a specific life and you all the sudden realize, “Crap, I don’t want this anymore”. It’s beyond scary So much of who you are and were is tied up to the life you have created. It feels so disheartening and frightening and embarrassing. You’re identity is tied to this destination on your GPS and when you realize that destination is no longer where you want to be, it can feel like you are shouting to the world, “I am a failure.”

I felt like a failure, and was so scared too. I was adrift and petrified. Not only that, I was embarrassed. I had been so proud of the life I was living and so happy to know that I was the one who created it. I manifested this amazing dream life, and now I have to tell people I don’t want it anymore? I felt awful.

Here’s something I would tell you if you’re going through what I went through.

It’s ok.

It’s ok to want more, it’s ok to change your mind, and it’s ok to move on. The reasons don’t matter. You’re normal, and it’s fine.

If you want to hear more about how I moved away from the amazing life I built, and how I got through that, here’s the link to the podcast where I talk about it.

In conclusion, remember you’re not alone and it’s ok to change your mind even if you wanted everything you have. You don’t have to want it anymore, if you don’t want it.