Do you feel awful when someone criticizes you? I know I did!! My definition of criticism was anyone telling me that I was wrong or doing something wrong. Most of the time I wouldn’t put myself in a position for anyone to even criticize me. If they did, I was instantly defensive, and most times I would interrupt them to explain or justify why I wasn’t wrong. I couldn’t and wouldn’t hear what they were saying, because I would think that what they were saying didn’t pertain to me. They were wrong, I knew what I was doing.  Another tactic I had was just being agreeable out loud, but in my head thinking, whatever, you’re wrong and I’m right. 

So, how do you even become someone who feels good about being criticized? It starts with a choice to be willing to have an open mind. To stop telling stories that open up the opportunities to be criticized. To stop and actually hear what they are saying. Here’s how I learned to become the person who could handle criticism, actually feel good about and look forward to it:

Choosing To Have An Open Mind - When you come from the mindset that you already know how to do something, it doesn’t leave space to learn a new way. You can become more defensive and definitely not hear what someone is trying to tell/teach you. You create a space to be criticized. Doesn’t seem to make sense that we actually create the space to get criticized, but if you already have all the answers and can’t hear anything else, that’s exactly what you do. 

When I joined Enchanted Life U, I showed up being open to being coached. I was open to Cassie telling me what I was doing wrong, because I wanted to learn how to manifest lots and lots of money. I didn’t show up with the mindset that I already knew how to do it, and so I wasn’t even aware of any criticism, because I wouldn’t have thought it was criticism.

When I started my training to become an Abundance Facilitator at Enchanted Life U, it was totally different. I came into training with the mindset that I knew how to do it. (Because I had coached before) This led to lots of what I felt was “criticism” and it totally sucked. I wasn’t willing to have an open mind to learn a new way to do it. 

Stop Telling Stories  - The first story to stop telling is “It doesn’t feel good to be criticized”. Choose to tell a more empowering story such as “I am curious how someone else might do this.” When you stop telling a story, you create space to choose how your life can be different. When you focus on being criticized as not feeling good or avoiding it all together, you are actually creating more of it. Your stories create and feed being defensive and not feeling good about being criticized.

When I showed up to become a coach without having an open mind and knowing how to do it already, I created the space and opportunities to be criticized. Which led to creating even more things to be criticized about. I was defensive and couldn’t hear anything Cassie tried to teach me. I kept thinking that I’m never gonna get this, I’m never gonna be like Cassie, I’m never gonna connect to my clients and so much more.

I was actually showing up pushing away what I wanted to manifest! I wanted to be an amazing coach! I wanted to guide my clients through the same program that guided me to live this amazing life that I’m living. I wanted to be an amazing writer who connected with those who were reading what I wrote. But, being defensive and avoiding criticism was actually keeping it from me.

I didn’t get through this on my own of course! I had a coach who interrupted my defense mechanisms. I had to choose to show up differently, I had to choose to show up teachable.  When I chose to stop looking at it as criticism, there was a huge shift. I also had to stop telling the stories I was telling, and having a coach telling me to STOP when I would. I became open to criticism, (which doesn’t FEEL like criticism anymore) and actually began to look forward to it.  Choosing to show up teachable, opened up so much space for me to be able to hear what Cassie was teaching me. She still tells me to stop it when I revert back to feeling criticized (when my defense mechanisms kick in). Which is now less and less often.

Now that I know how to handle criticism and feel better about it, I am writing and connecting to my clients easier. I am attracting new clients and being present with them. I am a better version of myself and a better coach. I’m not perfect, but I continue to show up to be coachable and teachable. I actually look forward to and enjoy criticism, and it's actually softer now, it's more that I am open to being teachable. I am manifesting more and more of my dream life every day!

Are you ready to shift your mindset on criticism and feel better about yourself and how you handle it?  I invite you to listen to my Year of Growth interview on Manifesting Success Stories “How To Handle Criticism When Manifesting Your Dream Life”, where I share more in depth how to handle criticism and how it ties into manifesting your dream life. Just click here to listen.

Written With Intention by Abundance Facilitator Kimberly