I used to struggle all the time with money. It seemed like every time I wanted to buy something, I didn’t have enough money for it! It was so frustrating! Each time it happened, I hated it more and more. I felt like I could never get ahead, never buy the things I wanted, and never have enough money, ever.

There was once a time when I learned about a new type of stage makeup and I really wanted it! It looked amazing and had a really ethical company, all of the things I wanted in my stage makeup. Without thinking, I went to buy it and thought, “Let me check my checking account first to see if there’s enough in there.” When I got there, I was dumbfounded to see that not only did I not have enough for the makeup, I wasn’t going to have enough for any groceries that week.

That was the day when I realized I had gone through the exact same experience the month before, and the month before that.

Seeing the pattern in my life, I realized something new.

I was living out my money story, Survival, and it wasn’t my fault.

A money story is something we pick up by default, it’s the story of how we are with money.

It’s like when you pick up the book The Three Little Pigs. You know what happens the second you see the title. There’s going to be a straw house, a stick house, and a brick house and a hungry wolf who huffs and puffs.

When I received money, I was going to live out my money story. I was bound to go to spend money, then realize I didn’t have enough, feel crappy and hate it, time would pass, I’d receive money, and the whole thing would start again.

I felt like a hamster on a wheel. No matter how hard I worked, there still wasn’t enough money, I felt constant stress about money and everything else that I needed to get a handle on, I was either running at 110% or crashed out.

I wasn’t consciously choosing to not have enough money to buy the things that I wanted, it just seemed to keep happening without me trying. This was my money story - Survival - playing out.

Other money stories that show up for people are:

Just Enough: there is always just enough, no more, when you have extra, something comes up you have to spend it on, and when an expense comes up, the money magically shows up

Money Chaser: you will pretty much do anything if you think it will make money, you’ve started multiple businesses or had hundreds of money making ideas that you started working on, you will spend money quickly to try to make money.

Hot Mess: money doesn’t really stress you out (you’re never worried about having it cause it finds you), you don’t feel like you have anything to show for all the money that has found its way into your life over the years, you feel somewhat detached from money.

So I decided to write a new story, I have enough money to buy the things I want. 

I stopped telling people about how I didn’t have enough money to buy things, or how I was in a pattern, or that money was hard, or that I hated that this pattern kept happening.

I started telling people about the times money was working out for me! Like the time I found a penny on the ground. Or the time I got an extra big tip at work. Or the time my car insurance emailed me to tell me they were lowering my monthly bill.

I started celebrating the times that I could buy the things that I wanted, and I celebrated big. I did a great big dance party in my kitchen the day I bought the mascara I really really wanted. I shouted “Woo Hoo!” the moment I bought the car diffuser I wanted. I poured my favorite club soda into a champagne flute and cheersed myself in the mirror the day I paid for a professional haircut at the fancy salon.

If you realize you’re in a pattern with money that you hate, it could be your money story playing out.

It’s not your fault.

Everyone has a money story, and I learned what mine was so I could start to change it.

Here’s a link to the podcast I recorded at a time on my journey when my money story was creeping into my life again. I go into detail about how my money story used to play out, and how I wrote the new money story that I love today.